The Murder of Robin Williams

When no one knows
What the inside shows
Judge they may;                            

When that familiar pain
Rips at familiar flesh
It's gone again
And all is well
Come what may

When the hurt is real
It cannot conceal
It would not, it's real
I never wanted to feel

I pushed it way down into that familiar place 

Lonely, dark and barren

Scant and empty

When the tangles
Are wet, dripping cold
Taking me low
Neath the snow
With no room to hold
My frozen soul
I start to pray                                                                  

Take it away
Make it better
My heart unfolds, inside this letter
I wished only, you knew me well
What absurdity, words never tell
They would only betray
My bitter hell

The matching outside face
The jester                                                                            

The happy ace
We played the fool
We sang, we laughed
But the pain still stayed
So I chose the pain
A dear companion
As my friend
Embraceable pain, with no foreseeable end

It wasn't me
The world had changed
Unrecognizable
The inner boy stained                                                    

Enmeshed, tragically with gain
And me at the epicenter
As ever,
The comedic, trend setter

That's who you wanted right?
Not the real me
The one whom I allowed,
For you to see
What little I had
Was picked away
In the end
Only decay, left for me

Reach into my chest
Feel my walls
Hold my heart
Hold my breath                                                                                            

The force of my blood, feel it pump
Make it stop
Make the beating stop
I go, now I part

Breathe my air
Squeeze my lungs
Hold me tight
Embrace my cold,
I go into the lonely night
All is well
Come what might